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Tuesday, 10 November 2009
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retreat was great.
It was filled with Puertorican food
shanigans at the chapel
Me hiding
and me getting found out
but not caring
and finally a good pictureThere were icons in the chapel as well. Icons are to be read, you don't paint icons your write them as they hold a message to be shared when you meditate upon it.
This icon says there is room at Gods table for all
this is St. Michael triumphing over evil- we are to fight the injustice in our world the first icon is Jesus with companion- we are the companion and He walks beside us as we go through life, and the 2nd is Mary inviting us to come closer and know Jesus more.
Good friends :)
this was on my door
this was being sold in napa. strange..
of course this weekend was wonderful because i spent it with
ah if only we could have retreats more often.
ya know, for the first time in 22 years my spiritual life is starting to make some sense.I have a fellowship of people who are invested in one anothers lives, am able to be in the company of people who engage with the bible, think for themselves and are real with one another.
We were talking about the virgin mary and what that means "virgin" in the non-sexual sense. It means to be open, she was open to what it is that God wanted for her life. She made room for him, and it's a call for us to be open with our lives, as our lives are but sacrafices to Him. This weekend challenged me to make sure i have made room in my heart for Jesus. Not have it as an afterthought, or if I have time left over. Everthing should flow from Him.
Christianity is not an extracurricular activity.
We did an exercise where we had a circle that says Jesus and then spokes around it- kind of like the wheel of life, and on each of the spokes we put parts of our lives- like study, family, relationships etc and were asked to journal about each of those areas and if they were bringing us closer to God or farther away and what area needed special prayer and discernment. It was good.
Thursday, 05 November 2009
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Sometimes you get lucky
Sometimes the Eiffel Tower is as big as All Spice
And then we have baklava and arabic coffee to celebrate the union
of Jan and Jeremy- my favorite americorp volunteers. It's always nice
when the people you love find love.
but then there is always a jerk.
When I was walking in the hallway in the hospital this guy
said to me "Hey, You Jap go back home! Go back to Chinatown"
I didn't know who this person was- a patient, a staff person, or a visitor-
and these days you don't know if you are running
into a harmless jerk or one who is packing more than resentment, so I just got away
from him as fast as possible. I've never experienced more racism than when I came to California.
We have the safeway experience, this, the nonstop racial slurs and "accents" i've heard
at basically everyplace i've worked at, the outright slurs anti-semetic and asian
slurs I was subjected to in highschool, and it's like seeing as you have noone
to back you up, why start something? It seems like we think it's better
to just mind our business rather than stick up for someone. To swallow
whatever comes our way so that we don't get in trouble and can
advance- don't want to be a whistleblower. It's just seems like it's more acceptable to make fun
of Asian people because they don't fight back- meanwhile, if you make fun of a black person
all hell breaks loose, and it' should. intolerance should not be tolerated, but again- i had no idea
who this person was, what they were capable of, and i was spooked right after it happened- I didn't
want to get in a fight, I wanted to get away. Other people heard him but did nothing- probably because
they want to mind their own business too.It got me to thinking of the Vincent Chin case where the Chrystler
autoworkers thought he was Japanese, said racial slurs and harassed him and then killed him
before his wedding day since they associated him with a Japanese who takes their job as the Japanese
Cars were replacing American Cars.Go back home. Go back home? psh, home would be Missouri
and please send me a ticket sometimes this place drives me nuts.
in other news- I taught Qigong in my PTSD/Depression group. I also took rocks from the ocean, sprayed them with perfume and had the guys pick a rock to hold and guess the scent. The reason being that these rocks come from a peaceful place so they have peace in side of them, and thus the guys can have peace. People like having something to fidgit with- it takes their focus off whatever thing they are focusing on. The scent was a grounding technique. The scent was cucumber melon haha.
<---chowhall
Also I left work late- at 7 and the bus comes every 30 minutes. i was running for the bus, the guy in front of me saw that I was running, so when he got on the bus he took forever to get on and feigned having a bum leg so that I could reach the bus on time. When i finally got to the bus, he just walked to the back of the bus like itwas no problem despite his malingering before and the busdriver said "ahah miracles do happen eh" and then the guy said "that was for the lady." So that was nice. People faking disabilities so I can get to the bus :)
CV writing is annoying- i've done a lot and am trying to figure out how to document it. The format of my CV is such a fail, so hopefully i can get some help. Berkeley aps are due Nov 30th. I shall eat dinner w/my parents
then I'll be on a 3 day retreat in Sonoma. I can hardly wait.
Sunday, 01 November 2009
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but last night was halloween. I went to Kris apartment for a movie party- we saw Vertigo and Silence of the Lambs
Last halloween I was a genie. This halloween I was nothing, but i went into Adronicos- the grocery store, to get some hummus and a guy went up to me and asked if I was a dressed as hotchick for halloween. I think it was a pick up line- i suspect it wont work. Earlier this week someone in AAA- Asian American Association said tome "hey! Asian! go to the AAA halloween party!" it's funny being called out like that. Jewish Student Union continues to refuse my appeals. They think i'm not actually Jewish that A) I am adopted of B) I married a jewish guy.I can't seem to convince them I am as much chosen people as they are. oh wells. Let's be honest- if I look anything its filipino.
Anyway we had wine, cheese, dark chocolate, and bread at the party.
Is that bougie? maybe. Sometimes you just don't want snickers and hot wings ya know?Here is a picture of the grow your own butterfly i grew- 600% bigger than it was before i put it in water.
of course we took pictures.
Our first halloween.We are going to make an offerenda today
to honor those who have passed from this earth onto the next.
I have a walnut face in the last picture because kris had his basketball shorts
pulled up to his ribcage. My dad does that sometime to make me laugh
and it always works. I am finding many commonalities between my father and Kris
both like cars and eating bread. I bought some challah. I can no longer buy loafs of bread
from safeway-now i have to go to breadworkshop and pick up a freshbaked one.,
I am certain breadworkshop is a commune as the cashier and bakers yesterday
were named Mary, Joseph, Adam, and Eve. Coincidence? Unlikely
do you know how cool it is to have someone care about you the same way you care about them
and to actually show it in words and actions? I'd say it's a near miracle. Sometimes we like someone
because they like us not because we actually like them, but when both people like eachother
regardless of the actions of the other as a determinant- it's pretty amazing. Of course, when you do like
someone for who they are, you are more inclined to treat them well and vice versa so it feeds back on itself
in a continuous feedback loop of satisfaction.
Well back to work. Grad ap for berk due on the 30th! Then I gotta get behind the wheel again. I am making a xanga promise. By Christmas 2011 I will be on photo greeting cards driving my car. I will get over this fear of driving. I think it started because i fell out of a bumper car when i was younger and hurt myself. But no more. I hear all these songs about driving on the open road with the wind going through your hair and Kris talks about driving on the mazda speedway sometime, so it must be fun. My brother says stupid people drive and since i'm not stupid, I should be able to drive. I wish we still had our suburu legacy- that woud be a good car to drive in. More than likely, i'll be going to some drivingschool either asafeway driving school in SF or some vietnamese one. both will probably entail yelling in foreign languages- but that's ok. Upward! Forward! Onward! UFO! :)
Tuesday, 27 October 2009
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Human interest stories
1. This Thursday I made berrycornbread to handout on telegraph to homeless folks. I gave half a batch to this man who had a sign that just said "Hungry." His face was drawn, real skinny, rough living and had eyes that have seen to much and not enough love. I asked him for his name and stuck my handout for him to shake and he paused and told me that noone had asked for his name let alone shook his hand for a long time. Homeless robs people of their dignity it seems. This was a man who could have stood for a dozen dozens of cornbread given his physical state, and yet to my astonishment he 1) asked if i was going to take anyback for myself. I said no, andthen he got up and started sharing this food with the other homeless folks on the street. This act of genorosity puts the rest of us to shame as we are so stingy with our abundance.
2. I visited Addie yesterday and showed her youtube videos of Big Mama Thornton, One of her favorite singers.
Addie told me the story of a Greek family she worked for, the Pappas'. They owned a food store near Clairmont Hotel, but the people in Clairmont petitioned for them not to live in their neighborhood because they discriminated against Greeks. Even though Mr. Pappas had served in the war for America despite being of Greek descent. Anyways, the Great Depression hit and all those richy richies were in the poorhouse and had no food, but mr Pappas was doing just fine as he had saved money, not invested in the stock market and people always need food. According to Addie the same folks who petitioned against him were begging him for food, he never turned anyone away took what they had even if it wasn't enough, and even delivered grocieries on his bike to those who could not afford groceries. Noone went hungry though these were the same people who were so cruel and racist to his family. You never know what your cruelty or selfishness is turning away. What blessings do we close the door on? Mr Pappas tables were turned and yet he still made room at the table for those who hurt him. What an amazing being.
Here is Addie on my laptop on youtube
Grad schools aps are scary as are GRE prep. *_*. Just gotta take it one day at a time it's just a lot to deal with1) aps, 2) school 3) work 4) moving 5) boyfriend 5 is the best one. but yeh relationships are like an 8 unit class if you do it right and you can't take it P/NP. I want to go to a place far far away for a long time, but alas, lifeplanning awaits.
Sunday, 25 October 2009
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So my bed is broken and I've been sleeping on the floor
I sometimes have the door a crack open
and this is what happens
He sneaks in
steals my pillow
and then tries to act innocent
After C-fest I went to El Cerrito to visit Jen w/Kris for a potluck dinner and a movie
we had ahi tuna, vermicelli salad, berry cornbread, bread, brie, salmon, wontons and 2 bottles of napa wine.
Jen had a little baby size knife
We watched The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
A western w/Clint Eastwood set in the civil war. It was a really long movie
and it seems like a movie guys like a lot. It's actually an Italian made movie
Il Buono, il brutto, il cattivo".

this is us before the movie
we both look weird. Pale and distorted. Oh well at least we're happy.
boy has this been a long day. done.
TinyRiceCracker
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